


December TF2 fics

by orphan_account



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Comedy, Dirty Jokes, Eye Trauma, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Smoking, Suggestive Themes, Suicide Mention in a Non-Angst Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-05 10:09:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16808542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lots of rare pairs, nothing very "romantic" really. From lighthearted works, passing through stupid stuff, to angsty fics, with nothing way too explicit I think. Just check the tags, please.Thesehave nothing to do with Winter or Christmas,just were done before or in the month in question. Some fics are more complex than others, sorry.1. Spoovy (very inventive tittle I know)2.I see you in the respawn (Soldier/Spy)3.Eye horror (Demoman/Soldier)4.I will follow you (just read this one, please. From one of the tagged ships)5.Stop (Heavy&Demoman)6.Medic's Beer (Demoman/Soldier, may count as lowkey Soldic)7.The Problem I (Demoman/Soldier)8.The Problem II9.Quote from animation show (Heavy/Medic)10.Laborer (Engineer/Spy)11.Halloween Night  (Heavy/Medic)12.Unhappy bloody end (Demoman/Medic)13.Scout's Night (Just him)D is for Demoman/December





	1. Spoovy

The angular piece of the team, doing so much for them in silent, without any hesitation. Such an ungrateful work done with no complains from the foolhardy russian.

Everyone trust with their entire life in Mikhail, even if only a few of the team of proud men has ever told him about this.

Somehow, this wonderful man bothers to listen to him and his immense list unforgetful mistakes. Not only that!

Somehow, this wonderful man has decided to trust him, the most vile piece of the team that no one else in the team trust, and he never won't be grateful of _having_ him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Spy writing this down like [this](https://st3.depositphotos.com/9089900/17368/i/1600/depositphotos_173680972-stock-photo-young-woman-lying-on-the.jpg). (Edit: Oops, I thought about this joke after it was wrote. I'm gonna left the "he" but it should've been "I" of course. Little mistakes in other fics will be hopefully fixed tho)
> 
> I wanna write about these two talking, having intelligent conversations but I’m not intelligent enough (/s, some day I will)


	2. I see you in the respawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freedom Fries! _What kind of flirting is this?_  
>  Soldier being, uhm... This has shitty sense of humor

Soldier and Spy were hanging around outside the base, smoking. Soldier has recently took from the waist Spy, which made them both all giggly.

Then, Soldier kneeled.

“Soldier,” Spy glowered. _I wanted I kiss, not, whatever you’re doing._

Soldier put a ring in Spy _middle_ finger, which besides being the wrong finger, is too big for Spy’s fingers. There is no way the ring could have fitted anyway: The object is a _safety pin ring_ from one of Soldier hand grenades more exactly.

“SOLDIER,” Spy snapped. Soldier grabbed Spy by both of his thin wrists, laughing like the mad man he is.

The seven left members of the team heard a explosion from somewhere near the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reread chapter title, they are fine.  
> Suicide pact? Murder-Suicide- _Marriage_ proposition? I’m sorry...?


	3. Eye horror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Be more careful next time._
> 
> Boots n Bombs, with a little of eye horror as mentioned.

He has one eye to take care, and still all kinds of things happen to his good eye. He knows he will lose his sight eventually as every member of his family, but he needs his eye for this job—His favorite job of all his damn jobs he ever has have.

“Stay still,” says Medic, with the most harmless forceps he could find in hand.

Demoman swallows, clenching his hands, left one of them holding Soldier’s right hand. Aside from holding his friend hand, his other consolation is that he still can see at the moment, and this problem should be a piece of cake for Medic.

“This soon will be over—”

“Just get it done already,” urges Soldier, at least as terrified as his friend. An old war dog like him won't show fear, especially not when his friend needs him. It isn't that he hasn't seen terrific things happening before, he does in fact all the time, but when something serious happens in eyes it will always be unnerving.

Medic wants to complain, but knowing how is Soldier he limits himself to do his job.

With a firm hand, Medic carefully retires a diminutive piece of glass from Demo’s eye.

“Done.”

“Aye, thank you Doc,” says Demo, being this one of the rare occasions where the cocky man actually says thanks to someone. How he wouldn’t after his teammate basically saved his sight, once again.

Soldier clears his throat. _What is happening?_

“You can let go of your friend’s hand.”

_Oh._

“Next time don’t play breaking bottles,” scolds Medic, but none of the two really listen, leaving. “I vas going to heal your cornea with the medigun, stupid!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **[Boots n Bombs week 2019](https://demosolly.tumblr.com/post/180667012716/announcing-boots-n-bombs-week-2019-coming%22)** has been recently announced! (From February 14th through the 20th)  
> Two or three fics will be added next week.


	4. I will follow you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bloodier of the fics (occurs in battle), maybe the cutier too. [REDACTED] ship. ;)

Sore comes from the side left side of his head, between his forehead and ear. Blood flows down from his temple and drenches a path among his cheekbone and ear.

”Looking for this?” asks the enemy Spy giving a grin, holding up in the air in one hand Demo’s eyepatch and in the other his revolver, ready to shoot. 

He knows that Demoman will damage him with one of his grenades before dying from the bullets damage, but he can take it. The thing is, why Demoman has not attacked yet? Why is he _smiling?_

From behind of Spy, a bonesaw cuts through his left side of the neck. Drawing his last breaths, his blood gushes from the injury.

Before the soon to be dead Spy finishes to fail to the ground, Medic grabs Demo’s eyepatch from his hand. 

“Good hit,” says Demo while looking defeated, pressing the wound in his head with his hand. He knows there is no point in hiding his manky eye in front of Medic. He would’ve made a comment about Medic being better at Spy’s job, if wasn’t that the backstabber took his patch.

Medic chuckles. “Danke.” He changes of weapon and heals Demo with his medigun.

“Hurry, I’ll tie up your eyepatch.”

Open-mouthed due to the german gesture, Demo takes off his beanie and lowers his head. He’s not used to this sort of kindness, or straight up rejects it time to time when it does happen, whether in confusion or cockiness. 

Medic does as he said from Demo’s left side, asking if it is too tight or not. He knows that Demo is very, very insecure about his lack of eye. He has done everything he can: literally injerting the eye back, but the eye refuses to stay there.

“It is okay like this?” he asks, to what Demo nods in response. “Then I done. Hurry, I will overhealth you,” says while taking his medigun again. “You can jump forward if you want, I will follow you.”

“Thanks doc,” Demo replies, making a great effort to not get sappy, putting his beanie back in place. Then he realizes he can’t make a explosive jump even if he wanted: he sees too blurry for that, he has failed his effort and his one and only eye is watery.


	5. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He is helping you._ Gen I guess

“Tavish, stop drinking. _Now._ ”

If Heavy says he has to stop drinking, he stops, just as he does now. He doesn’t for anyone else (not even Soldier: he either convince Soldier to drink with him or escape from him if he in the mood to drink till blackout). To be sincere, Demo is grateful for this. The team should be grateful to have Heavy.

“You need help to go to your room?”

“No Mikhail, ’M fine. Thank ye.”

He would add “I really mean it” but he’s too proud for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/8 fics of mercs being thankful of Heavy. Not for this collection tho. Unless...


	6. Medic's Beer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Soldier is watching over the drink of someone else._ It has a stupid joke.

Soldier was sitting alone at the table of the kitchen. A bottle of cold beer was in from of him.

Demoman entered:

“Hello Demo,” Soldier greeted immediately.

“Hello Soldier,” Demoman greeted back. He saw the beer, “is that for me?”

“Negatory.” Demo wailed out loud. “That’s Medic’s beer.”

“Are ye keepin’ an eye on his beer?” asked disappointed.

“Yes.”

“From _who_?”

“From…” _Crap._

“Dinnae answer,” said while taking the bottle.

“Demo.” Soldier tensed. He sat upright in the chair.

“I’m not drinkin’ it. He told ye to stop me from drinkin’ it, innae it?”

“...Yes,” admitted.

“And I’m not drinkin’ it. I’m just holdin’ it,” continued saying while smiling.

Soldier grunted. He saw how Demo started to shake the bottle.

“Still not drinkin’ it.”

Soldier finally relaxed his body in his chair. He chuckled.

“You looks like you are…” Soldier did a jerk off hand gesture in the air.

“Wot?” He was confused at first. Soldier bursted into laughter. “Hey!” exclaimed while laughing too. 

Demo sharply placed the bottle back in the table. The bottle sounded loud, and Demo feared he had broken it. He took the bottle again to give a look at it, and it seemed intact for him, therefore he placed the bottle once again back in the table. He said:

“Scout would said that kind of joke.”

“What? Why?” He was the one confused this time. Soldier took a solid 3 seconds to understand. “ _Ohh..._ I am not Scout!” barked. He has not really understood that Demo was joking about the immaturity of both of the attacking classes. 

Demo couldn’t help to not laugh a little at Soldier expense, but abruptly stopped when he listened Medic approaching the kitchen. 

“I gotta go,” blurted. Demo’s eye widened, “you should too.”

“Why would I?” asked clueless Soldier, who didn’t move at all. He probably forgot about the shaked bottle due to Demo’s joke.

 _God fuckin’ dammit Soldier._ “Suit yerself,” said as he left Soldier alone again. 

Just moments afters, Medic entered the kitchen. He nodded to Soldier, who nodded back in response, watching that despite Demo just was there the bottle looked intact. 

“Thanks…” Both saying “comrade” and words in german to Soldier are bad ideas. “Thank you for taking care of my beer.”

“No problem Doc.”

Medic took a bottle opener from ones of the kitchen drawers. When he opened it, the alcohol spilled all over his hands and clothes. Soldier tried hard to hide his laughing, which just made him more obvious.

He felt Medic’s glare on him. He was, definitely in trouble, and Demo was too because he won’t let him escape from this problem as he thinks.


	7. The Problem I

Screams came from a closed room.

“We’re just asking you to stop enabling him!”

“Is this about Medic’s beer? Because _I_ did that.”

“No you _did not_ , and is not about that...” Someone cleared his throat. “Not only that. Is much more than that, and you know it. Besides, it seems he is getting worse lately. Demo is not controlling himself.”

“Also, we know it was him who—” another voice clarified, apparently the same that just cleared his throat.

“That’s not important!” interrupted a fourth voice, yelling. “That happened several weeks ago, and we’re talking about his drinking habits this time, not their antics!”

Silent, no one said anything.

Demo took a second to grasp what was happening. Is a extremely rare occasion when this man lost all his words. When that does happen, Demo knows he is completely _helpless._

He leaned in a wall, getting ready to walk again. Then, Demo bursted into the room, knocking the door.

“Stop screaming at Soldier! I’m—” He inspired roughly, “I’m the one who ye should scream at!”


	8. The Problem II

Soldier dragged Demo to his habitation. In there, he dropped him in his bed. Demo with some difficulty sat back at edge of the bed.

“Oh c’mon, I’m fineee! Right, Soldier?” Demo babbled.

Soldier keeped his mouth shut, glazing Demo from above while standing, directly to his eye.

This angered Demo, who couldn’t stop himself from bellowing with all his lungs: “ANSWER ME!”

Soldier clenched his jaw as his only response.

“I shouldn’t, I…” Demo resumed, trying to apologize, “tell me, tell me I’m okay Jane, _please._ ”

_Don’t ignore me._

Demo hided his mouth in his right hand, unable to avoid breaking sobbing. He is a sad type of drunk after all, and for worse, this time he feels legitimately scared after what happened in the room. They frightened him.

Soldier quicky sat beside Demo to hug him. “ _Jesus Christ Tav,_ ” whispered, terrified with the fear of a child who saw his parent crying, squeezing Demo in his arms, who returned the hug and sank his face in Soldier’s shoulder.

“Tav, Tav...” keeped repeating as a chant, rocking back and forth both of them while stroking the back of Demo’s head, till Demo finally calmed down. Soldier helped him to bed down, without answering his friend question of before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should’ve used this as an entry for “Alcohol” in the [Boots n Bombs week 2019](https://demosolly.tumblr.com/post/180667012716/announcing-boots-n-bombs-week-2019-coming%22)? _Yes, totally_. The idea I’ve is ~~probably more~~ underwhelming compared to this one, but less angsty, I promise. 
> 
> Not more Demosolly here, sorry.


	9. Quote from animation show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little of Red Oktoberfest won't hurt anyone.

In the morning, Heavy was walking his way to the kitchen. From a corridor corner, Medic showed up, smiling side to side in the way he does—trying to be friendly and failing in the intent. He wanted to talk to Heavy about his last experiments, but, clumsily dropped a jar with a brain in his way to Heavy, which made Medic snarl loudly and he pinched his nose bridge. The noise of the of the jar breaking worsened Demoman’s hangover headache, who was unluckily just passing by there. 

Heavy went there to help Medic, crouching in front of the body part in the ceramic floor, that rather should be in their owner head or at least in, well, a jar. Meanwhile, Demo gestured to Heavy that he shouldn’t be doing that (how awful!), from behind Medic.

 _The things Heavy does for love_ , he said to himself. Heavy will not touch the brain though, only the broken pieces that could potentially hurt anyone. Doctor can pick up the organ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The things I do for love” (Courage the cowardly dog, 1999-2002)


	10. Laborer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Engineer's workshop has an unsolicited new decoration.

Engineer hates so much when Spy calls him laborer.

Today his workshop of the base—his sanctuary—has dawned with every object in it covered in post-its. Yellow, orange, light blue and even pink post-its are everywhere in the place. The colorful spectacle would indicate that this is a mischief from Pyro, or maybe even Scout (or both), but the only word in the papers indicate with no doubts that the perpetrator is someone else.

_Laborer, laborer, laborer, laborer..._

For someone who claims to be a serious assassin, this is definitely something that someone petty would do. Engineer knows that it can’t be a meaningless joke, that it has to have something, hidden.

Soon he discovers his answer. In his beloved wrench there is a yellow post-it, just like the rest of the workshop. It also says “Laborer” with a beautiful calligraphy, surely done with a expensive dip pen and using blue ink, just like the other papers with glue all over the workshop. The difference of this post-it—and what makes it especial—resides in a trait with the form of a heart at the end of the word.

Engineer chuckles with the paper in his hand. He sighs, leaving a small smile in his lips at the end. Dell has lost since a long time the knowledge if he is playing games with the Spy from his own team, or the one from the other team.

Engineer hates to admit that he loves the way the Spy(es) call(s) him.


	11. Halloween Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A conversation between Frankestein and his monster._
> 
> Also Heavymedic but... Welcome to the angst from now on (no more heavymedic here tho).

Is Halloween night. Heavy is in his Frankenstein monster costume with Medic, who’s in his Dr. Frankenstein costume respectively, both alone in front of a picture window. The sky is starry and the weather feels nice.

Heavy is laughing a little—Medic always say things that make him laugh—but after a while his smile is gone. He wants, he needs to ask something to Medic:

“Doctor, I was thinking," he looks down at his costume, then at the palms of his hands, "you actually want an Igor. Is not that right?”

Heavy does a slightly crooked smile. Glares at Medic.

“What?” Medic is confused at first, but he's a quick thinker. He knows that Heavy is basically asking _what do you really want from me?_

Heavy sighs, squinting his eyes and avoiding Medic’s eyes by looking at the floor. “Nothing. Forget about it.”

Medic decides to pretend he didn't understand, but is quite difficult to restart a conversation from this. He will figure out something soon, as he always does, as he always gets away with what he wants.

Although, maybe he should answer Heavy’s question, eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > ["Igor, or sometimes Ygor, is a _stock character_ lab assistant to many types of Gothic villains, such as Count Dracula or Dr. Victor Frankenstein, familiar from many horror movies and horror movie parodies."](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_\(character\))   
> 


	12. Unhappy bloody end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is the penultimate fic actually.

Demoman is in Medic’s office, alone. He’s lurking the german archives, looking for a must-existing file about him.

Demo sees the files of his others teammates, but he doesn’t bother in reading them—Not even Pyro’s and Spy’s files. When he finds his own file, his own case, he learns that basically Medic got bored of him, or at least that is what he understands. 

Medic must have bored of giving him new eyes that would give problems to everyone every Halloween night, which is understandable after all. Problem is, it seems Medic got bored about him in other aspects—aside from work—too. 

Not more treatment for a hopeless alcoholism; no more nights together.

Ach, who would stay with a one-eye bloody monster. He will forget about this soon anyway, either for the alcohol or the part of his brain that Medic himself scooped (and will forget about that too). 

Can’t help to still _stupidly_ trust him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [*coughs*](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16668835/chapters/39086536)


	13. Scout's Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Scout’s day off routine, before going to sleep._
> 
> Remember a joke a few chapters before...?

Today is Scout’s night. Is the night where he is alone in his department, the day before he goes back to work. He doesn’t even remember where he needs to be tomorrow and he didn’t write it down in nowhere. Will probably bother Spy in the morning with a call, but that not matter now.

The routine for the end of his day off is always the same, and he’s ready for the grand finale. He has the TV on, with some without importance program, being that the only source of light in his room aside from the lamp in the nightstand. Scout is used of having some kind of background noise during all his lifelong and he in fact cannot not have it; he also has a convenient and reachable paper towel next to him in the bed; in the floor lies an open magazine with ladies with no clothes in it (he has good eyesight); in his right hand he has ready to be used vaseline, just as ready as his already down pants and underwear, and he has no shirt on him; finally, he is sitting in his bed of course, with a normal towel under him to avoid to stain his sheets with the stupid vaseline: Scout knows all the tricks to leave no evidence at this point of his life.

Examining all the steps above has given to his friend more than enough time to be ready and up (who also has being named by Scout), and Scout’s body part is just waiting for his other friend, Scout’s hand.

Thus, Scout starts stroking his penis. Back in the day Scout was always afraid to be discovered by his brothers or his mom, making that a total eight people that could’ve catch him in the act, which to his shame happened a few times. Now, when he does stay in RED’s barracks there is also eight that can catch him, but luckily has not happened so far. The thing is, due to the reasons mentioned above, even is he wanted to change his habit and finish less soon, Scout life experience has heavily conditioned him. 

Nothing prepared him for the unusual ending of this day session.

For some reason that he is unable to identify, at some point after orgasming he began to sob. He is definitely not ugly _ugly_ crying (or at least that’s what he thinks), but he, to his embarrassment—even is no one can hear him—sobbing a little. After a little while that seemed endless, he finally could recover his control and the weeping was over, though not the bad feeling.

Scout breathes him and out, quietly as he can. He tries to put attention in the TV but his mind has other plans. What the fuck can be wrong with him? He is certainly fine, he has no problems, why someone like him would have them...?

Scout disposes the used paper towel to the floor, with the care to not land in the magazine. He takes of his pants and underwear completely and leave them in the floor as well, leaving him completely nude except for his socks, then does the same with the towel under him. With him clean and the bed also clean of any stains and stupid things in it (the paper towel can be there of just fucking fall, it doesn’t matter), he lies down in his bed, reaches the lamp in the night table and turns it off. The TV is left on as his company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be expanded with fics with him visiting others homes in their rest-days, and no, not porn, just interaction, but I highly doubt I would ever write it, so, it stays here. And yes, this is inspired by that mym line (the one about his birthday), and I don’t remember well when, but time ago I learned that some people cry after masturbating. Also, alternative cancelled name: tears and cum... now I disappear
> 
> Have a happy new year!


End file.
